a taste of english

As English becomes more and more widespread, Madagascar has joined the parade. Back in the day, Madagascar's president declared three official languages for the island: Malagasy, French, and English. He was determined to turn his people trilingual, and in this quest he demanded buckets of English teachers from the Peace Corps. Working in the highlands it seems as if the journey has been pretty successful. But then of course, everything is more advanced in the highlands. The roads, the teachers, the health structures—it's all better on the highlands. So yes there are teachers here that speak English fluently, and I can imagine surviving here as a tourist speaking only English. But of course it is still concerning for my old village and the surrounding area. They don't even have an English teacher, much less one that is fluent. And so in a way, English has become yet another measurement of disparity between the highlands and the coasts.

But I digress...

I have brought up this subject merely as a consumer. You see, some of the products we buy are covered in the English language. One possible reason is that the island now has import/export relationships with English-speaking nations. But the more probable reason in my opinion (and I think you'll agree) is that producers are translating their products into English in an attempt to gain more business. Madagascar and others are opening up to the English-speaking world. And I love it.

To be clear, finding a product in English does not cure any feelings of homesickness. But it does provide us with a little comedy.

So I thought I'd share some examples. The first (also the first that was humorous enough for us to take note) is not a product, but a hotel. It's called Motel Violette, is located in Ambositra, and the rumor among Americans is that it has the best pizza. We accidentally stayed there when our trip home to Fianar was unexpectedly delayed. And then we accidentally sampled their famous pizza without realizing yet that it was famous—we were simply looking for some kind of vegetarian option for Paul. My opinion: not the best pizza in Madagascar. But it is one of the few places with pizza that has a thicker crust, American-style. I guess if that's what you miss, you'll love this stuff. But I make homemade pizza all the time, and my crust ends up the same, so I just don't think it's a big deal. Though perhaps I'm biased.

Okay. So without further ado, the Motel Violette advertisement brochure, word for word (and in some cases, letter for letter—when in doubt, trust that it is not a typo):

Motel Violette: Bungalows / Chambres / Restaurant / Pizzeria

Here, furnitures and boards are in good agreement with an atmospheres sweet and lights where shadows and lights paly a wonderful symphony

For those whom discovery of sites and walking under the open air have exhausted, they can now discover cultural wealth of the region:

--Local working classes (cabinet work, unlaid work, rabans with colours subjects of basket-works)

--Hairdressign and the “lamba arindrano” (the tress has a particular meaning in betsileo tradition)

--The savika (violent sport and dangerous but very popular in the region of Ambositra)

--The Zafindraony canticles

--The Betsileo rija

--The volam-be tohaka.

When you have passed the day for strollin, to rumbling many shops to inquire little souvenirs and after making a halt at the terrace, you will find again with pleasure the calm and the quietness of your hotel, the soft confort and the freshness of your room or in pleasantly, arranged bungalows, bathroom with hot water, the color television and the constant attentions of a dynamic and young servants ready to comply with your least wishes.

To the table of its restaurant, Motel violette will show you the delight of its delicate cooking. The french, malagasy and chinese gastronomy keep close harmoniously on proposed cards. You can take “La saucisse Violeta” the tradesman of our chef. The familial environment and the quality of its cooking have largely contributed to the fame of Motel Violette.

Excellent. I am sure you all now want to visit Madagascar, if for no other reason than to rumble shops in Ambositra.

Our next favorite is a body gel that came with a loofah. I think it was made in China. The brand is ROUSHUN and I'll just dive in.

Front:

Naturals

BODY WASH

Skin Care

EXPERT

SPA FRAGRANCE Ocean Energy

--Cool Moisture--

Gentle for all skin types

Back:

ROUSHUN Naturals BODY WASH

OCEAN ENERGY

*Contains various of vitamins and minerals from ocean. Smoothens and whitens your skin and also improves the dry and rough skin. Prevent the dim skin and makes the skin gentle and tender. It brings youa luxurious feeling of bathing and gives birth to your silken skin. Just enjoy the brand new feelings it brings to you.

DIRECTION

Wet your body and smear some on the whole body, and then make it with rich foams with your hand or bathing cotton. Rinse after a while.

The most chill instructions ever. I assume the bathing cotton is the loofah.

Along similar lines, we'll go ahead and finish your English lesson with shampoo.

Front:

*PLANTS FRUIT ACID*

Eggs

Moisturizing Shampoo Nutrition

Nourish & Repair

DOUBLE PROTECTION

SUPER PLIANCY & WIPE OFF

Plant extracts

NEW

Back:

Habetong

Moisturizing Shampoo Nutrition

Rich eggs contain nutrients, moisture factor, combined with nutritional supplements, deep moisturizing hair, promote hair on the absorption of nutrients, to help re-hair, hair loss protein supplement!

DOUBLE PROTECTION

SUPER PLIANCY & WIPE OFF

Usage: Wet hair, take the appropriate product on the hair, slightly to produce a rich foam, then wash with water, if necessary, Better results can be repeated. Note: if it gets, flush with fresh water.

Is anyone else really worried about that last sentence? It's as if we're being given these really important instructions or a warning, only the key part of the sentence is missing.

In any case, I hope you enjoyed.

And don't worry—I listen to public radio way more than I read shampoo. So hopefully my English skills will still be intact upon my return. Of course only time will tell...